After having our first two beautiful children, I found myself away from the Sacrament of Reconciliation for a very long time. At least over 10 years. It was always an afterthought. I was busy. Busy raising little children, busy being a wife and caring for a home, busy trying to work a couple of days from our home office each week. Too busy for reconciliation.
Until one Saturday about 13 years ago.
That day, there was a “pull” to go to confession. It was very strong. I decided to sit down and make a thorough Examination of Conscience. I wrote down all of my sins. My goodness that list was long. Pages long.
When I was finished, I sat and looked at my list. Fear immediately set in. As I was standing in our bathroom getting ready to go, looking in the mirror, the fear continued. “I can’t go to confession. I can’t possibly tell the priest all of these sins. What on earth will the priest think of me?” Immediately, I heard the words in my soul….
“Do you care what I think of you”?
My racing thoughts stopped. I realized I was in the middle of a spiritual battle. Fear over freedom from sin, fear over freedom from sin. Was I going to choose fear or freedom from sin?
Thirteen years ago was a beautiful Saturday. I made the decision to conquer fear and approach our Lord in the beautiful Sacrament of Reconciliation.
For it is he who waits for us there. It is he who longs to take away our sins and forgive us so that we can be the best versions of ourselves.
So to answer your question, Lord. I know you love me unconditionally. I know you love me even in my sinfulness. But I also know, you love me too much for me to stay that way.
Yes Lord, I care what you think of me.
I know you long to know me
But your search has been in vain
Empty promises of happiness
that no one can attain.
But the Word of God is Truth and Love
The Sacraments your JOY.
To a hurting world that searches
Trying to fill their empty void.
For the ones that seek and find the Truth
Nothing can erase
The pure JOY that’s found within their souls
And shines across their face.
Can you give me just one second?
Lend your heart, your ear, your mind?
I long for you to know me
If you’d just give me your time.