As the mother of three sons, I have known all along. I have known that someday they may be blessed to fall in love and find another woman who would love them deeply. And I am so very happy for the life partners and love that they have found.
But a part of me grieves. I grieve for the connection that passes, that transforms.
I miss being needed and being the woman in their lives that they come to first. I’ve come to realize that I need to step away so that they could commit and find a new kind of love with the woman God has placed by their side.
I will always have and hold those sacred and blessed memories, with my husband, of bringing each of our sons into life in this world. I will always remember the immense feelings as we became their mom and dad.
I will always remember, those wonderful 9 months of carrying them in my womb. I will always remember, the joys that their dad and I shared in anticipation of our lives changing, and wow, did our lives change with each new baby.
I will always remember, the pain and joy in being their mom as they have grown.
I miss what was. I miss those early days of midnights feedings, listening to your sorrow through tears as you learned to navigate in a world without your dad and myself. I will always remember, the tears and sadness as they became more independent and their world of relationships grew and expanded. I will always remember, the pain of witnessing their hurts as they learned to navigate and to live in this life.
I miss those teen years, of supporting them in discovering and learning to recognize and use their gifts. I miss those years of coaching you to find your passion and use it to meet the worlds deep need. I miss those early days of hugs and prayers together, of sharing stories and of telling you to “enjoy the journey”!
I have always known this direct parenting time was but a chapter in time. And now, this time is here. I grieve as well as rejoice. I pray each and every day that I have equipped them to be men of dignity and grace. I pray for our sons to grow and find their calling in life, to find love and to live their happily ever after.
I pray that they will be men who are here to love and serve, to leave the world better than it was the day they were born, to share God’s love and forgiveness and to scatter grace. I pray for our sons to be bold men of faith, good and faith filled husbands and incredible parents. I am so grateful that God called me to the vocation of mom, entrusted Michael, Matthew and Luke to me to parent. And for that, I will never be sad.
Believe n love,